What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

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Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

How do teachers justify punishing a student for fighting back against their bullies?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Is the Donald Trump Bible any different from a regular Bible? Has Trump altered its contents?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

What is the cost of implementing synchronized traffic lights in a mid-sized city?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Summer here, the one who debunks atheism. Isn’t it funny how atheists always say they prefer a “no-nonsense, evidence-based approach” to understanding the world, but when I bring up logical arguments for theism, they suddenly clam up?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Why do people mourn when their leaders lose elections? Is it common for people to cry over events that are out of their control?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Can you explain the concept of an annulment of marriage in the Roman Catholic Church and its effects on a previous marriage?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

TEXT:

Which current F1 drivers should switch teams based on historical patterns?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Is it recommended to leave a note in a lost wallet asking for it to be returned?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.